Dog hair

is all over me! But the dogs are kind of sweet. I just need to designate some "dog clothes" that I will wear when sitting upstairs with the furry creatures.
Test is over. I passed. Phew! However, I did not do so well on the practical part because I got..."flustered." I don't like that word, but I can't think of the one I like. I was rather upset afterwards - not a good sign. I fear I may be upset in a similar way frequently this year. I hope to learn the be like a duck, you know, let things just slide off. I'll let you know how it goes.

Surgery is not for the faint of heart, or the very sensitive. I am sensitive, but not faint. : )
Cheers! -E

205

That's my page number. This blog is great motivation. I'm not allowed to write until I finish my study goal for the day. I'm such a bad student. I prefer to talk, so when 2 friends called, I spurned my book and caught up on their lives (and mine). And I still didn't talk to a third friend or respond to the emails that I wanted to! Alas.
The day otherwise - my first day as an intern! It was all orientation. I now have an ID badge that says, "Dr. E... D..." And someone today told me that I look like Liza Manelli (I think that's how you spell it.) I also think it was a compliment. He referred to me as Liz thereafter.
And I got an email and fun picture of a friend from college who is now married with children (child). Too fun. It's crazy how some people have normal lives. : )
I think I become more shallow when all I do is study - no time for introspection. That might make for dull reading. And then some of my introspection is unfair because perhaps some interaction with some person triggered it and I must remain mute on the subject to protect the innocent (or the guilty as the case may be). There you have it - babbling in obscurities. I need to sleep. I have more orienting to do tomorrow.

The wall! Picture ala Corissa, decorative choice ala Kerstin, enjoyed ala me! I'm talking with Judith (my dear friend in Germany) while I took this picture. It's like an international red wall! Ok, maybe that's a stretch, but we can pretend. I was talking to a friend in CO while I painted it - so it's at least very inter-state. : )
I have conquered 103 pages of the 300. I hope to get to 150 by tonight. So help me God. . .

Bah-humbug

I'll probably delete this post tomorrow, because that's what I do when I write when I'm feeling morose. I think about it later and realize that I don't actually want to world to know that that's exactly *what* I'm thinking. So, today, I just feel sad. Not sure why, but Hemingway has a short story called "Up in Michigan" with a quote that comes to mind, "She was cold and miserable and everything felt gone." That's how feel, except that I'm not cold. And I shouldn't be miserable. Whatever - sometimes that's how life feels. Ironic that I read a chapter on battling depression earlier today - I didn't even feel depressed then. I did realize that I need to study a 300 page book on acute trauma life support before wednesday morning. Perhaps that's the cause of my dismay. Fun times are over! Well, it's been a nice few months of freedom anyway.

"Every time I make my mark...

Somebody paints the wall..." - some country singer
The wall, as you can see, is now red. What should have taken 1 hour took 5-6. Why? The short answer is that everything went wrong (paint was clumpy, then I dumped out half the can accidentally, then I had to pay $40 for decent paint). The long answer is ... everything went wrong! For better or for worse I always make some attempt to explain the seemingly random events of my life, and today's events resulted in so much inner and verbalized cursing that I felt forced to assess it's potential purpose. It wasn't like it mattered in the grand scheme that everything I tried to do went wrong, but it made me stressed out, annoyed, and generally frustrated. What is the point? The martyr in me likes to liken myself to Job - you know, God is letting the Devil torment me to prove my faithfulness. Blessed be the name of the lord. The reality is that it stirs strong feelings of ire within me. Finally, at a dear friend's suggestion, I took a chill pill, sat still for a little while, and gazed toward heaven (at Starbucks while I drowned my sorrows with a latte and a 7-layer cookie). And who was there? Mm hm. Some good food for the soul:

My soul finds rest in God alone
My salvation comes from him
He alone is my rock and my salvation
He is my fortress; I will never be shaken.

The good thing - he is gracious inspite of me.

The Wall

<-- Before After-->

Just wait til tomorrow. This wall will soon be red! To compliment my bad-a** couch. There was wallpaper on the wall yesterday. The removal resulted in holes. I spackled, sanded and primed today. Have you ever seen so lovely a wall? I doubt it. : ) Stay posted for red.

I graduated from medschool - 5/12/06. My friends say I looked like Feifel (from the American tail) in my hat. Well, even if I look like a mouse, I am in fact, a doctor! I think that's kind of funny - that I'm a doctor - just don't get in a skiing accident near JC in the next 5 years. Otherwise, I may be forced to operate...

fast forward 4 months

It would be fun to make this happen during residency - give my now distant friends the opportunity to find out about my life when I don't have as many free moments for phone chats and coffee. Don't let that keep you from calling, though! I'm only working 80 hrs/week. Which means I have 84 hours off. Plenty of time for phone calls!

Rapid update: I have a new computer, ergo, I have more access to update and include pics. : )
And, I now live in Johnson City, TN. It's ...ahem...small. But pretty! And I know where most of the main places to shop are. That's important, right?

In one week, I will be an intern in General Surgery. Estrogen in the O.R. is actually going to happen. Crazy! Instead of studying I'm painting the walls in my new home. It's cozy! I'll send pics when it is in less disarray.